Don't
by AlwaysxAddicted
Summary: I'm always the one you run to, but to you I'm just your friend.' Lilly is in love with Oliver, but Oliver only loves her as a friend, more like sister. Can Lilly break Oliver and finally make him realize what he's missing?


**Don't**

**Chapter 1**

**I Know You**

I sat on the beach, drawing my name in the sand. I was bored on this Monday evening, but hey whatever, I can do whatever I want, it's summer time. I stuck my finger into the sand once again and started drawing hearts.

It feels good to come to the beach late in the day. There hardly are people around and you can just be alone and watch the sun set on the horizon. I don't know it makes me think about things I usually don't think about.

Today, I've been thinking about Oliver, which is probably why I'm adding hearts to my name.

He's been my best friend since preschool and I'm in love with him.

Yes, completely and utterly in love with him, but I cant help it.

The way I felt, how I realized I liked Oliver was a weird process.

It's like you get such a great best friend, one which you've been friends with ever since preschool and over 10 years later you're both still best friends. In between those years you start to feel something for the person that you can't describe.

Like one day, you never noticed that he could be such a caring and sweet person and you start to develop unknown feelings for him. Then go in denial and deny that you have any romantic feelings for him even if all the signs prove that you like him so much.

As the time comes when you think you're in love with your friend, you fell like you have the need to tell them how you feel. Whenever you gain the courage to tell your friend that you like them, you lose confidence and back out at the last minute.

Finally, when you reach the time when you're completely and utterly in love with your best friend and all you can do is think that you can't be with them because it would be wrong. You don't want to lose their friendship and if you were to tell them how you felt then you'd be afraid that he'll treat you differently, like push you away. Instead, you have to lie whenever it comes to asking about your love life and say that you like someone else when the person you really like is your best friend. It never is the right thing to do but you can't help it, because the truth hurts all the time.

You try and force yourself to forget about him, but it's taking so long for you to forget. After a few months or maybe a year, you struggle even harder because you know by now that you can't forget about him. Its because he's all you think about and it's hard to just throw away the feelings that you have for him. To you he's everything and everything he does means so much more than he thinks it does.

I'm in love with Oliver and he doesn't know it so I go by each day pretending to care for him only as a friend even if I care for him more.

It's just so hard for me.

He comes to me each time he needs help and there I am making him feel better. When he needs a hug I'm there for him and when he's mad, I joke around to make him feel better. It makes me think, what would happen if I wasn't there for him. Sometimes it feels like he's so dependent toward me to make him feel better and that's all I am to him; a friend that makes him feel better.

It hurts knowing that this is as far as we'll ever go. We're only friends and whatever makes him happy makes me happy and we have to make it stay like that. He's just a guy and I will get over him, even if it takes forever to do so.

I looked down at the sand as my eyes clouded. My cheeks flush and soon I find myself writing Oliver's name in the sand before a heart I drew after the last letter of my name. I shook my head and erased our names with my fingers.

This is just so foolish, I have to forget about it damn it, but it's so hard. It really kills me that I can't do anything but stand there and support everything Oliver does. When it comes to dating other girls or whatever, I have to pretend that I'm happy for him.

It just… sucks.

"Oh Oliver…" I whispered and pulled my legs up to my chest. I dusted off some sand which stuck to my Capri pants and I hugged my legs.

I never thought I'd turn into a boy crazy girl after my history with boys. Matt, Lucas, and who now? Oliver. During my time with both Matt and Lucas, I thought that I really did like them, but it was just me blocking my feelings for Oliver.

Yep, that's how horrible I am. I thought that my feelings for Oliver was nothing when it really was something, so here I am a year later and so in love with Oliver and it's scary.

"Hello my love." I hear someone say and drop down beside me.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, collecting myself before I went completely insane and took a deep breath.

"Hello Oliver." I said as I breathed out. I opened my eyes and found myself staring into those deep chocolate brown eyes.

God, can he not have the most perfect eyes?

A grin played on his lips as he reached forward and took my hand which left my hands and lay right between us.

"And how are you doing on this fine Monday evening?" He asked and I smiled.

"Just great, dear, and you?" I asked and he lightly squeezed my hand.

"Wonderful." He shook his head and dropped my hand. "You're so funny." He laughed and nudged my side.

"Shut up, you're the one who always starts it." I muttered as I roll my eyes, push myself up from the ground, and start dusting myself off.

Starts _it _as in act and pretend as if we're together _together_. It's some weird thing we picked up from watching a TV show where a boy called his friend _my love_ or his friend called him _babe _and stuff. It was one of those weird nick name things, which people around us don't get. They always thing we're being serious when we do this, but this is just game, I guess you can call it that.

I glanced down at Oliver and he smiled widely. "And why am I not surprised to see you here at this time?" He then asked and I shook my head.

"Because I'm here practically everyday at this time? You should know me by now; it's been like this ever since my mom finally trusts me enough to let me go out alone." I said and he still sat down on the ground, staring at the horizon.

"Yep, I know that. I know you better than you think I do." He said.

"How so?" I asked and he finally decided to get up from the ground.

"Because I'm Oliver! I know everything there is that's important to know." He grinned and put his hands to his hips, lifting his chin up, and posed as if he was superman.

"Oh gosh, hello Mr. Ego." I laughed and poked him hard on his shoulder.

"Ow!" He rubbed his shoulder and gave me an angry look.

"Come on Ollie, let's go." I sighed and stuck my arm out. Oliver happily hooked his arm with mine and then we gone off, heading for my house.

I couldn't help but frown during our walk. I felt pressured and tempted to tell him that I like him more than just a friend, but this will always be my little secret.

It was dark by now and as we passed by a few people, Oliver's arms tightened around my arm as we passed by a few people. I stepped closer to him and sighed. He usually is like this when he doesn't trust people we pass by.

It's pretty stupid at times because they're usually boys at a different school who don't take a second look at me because I'm ugly. I'm not as pretty as Miley or Amber and Ashley and I'm fine with it. It really doesn't matter to me.

We neared my house and I sighed. I felt disappointed because there goes another day where I have the chance to tell Oliver I like him, but I couldn't. I know I have to forget about it, but I don't want to.

"Quiet night huh?" Oliver asked me and I nodded.

"Very. Kind of awkward, I'll have to admit." I said and smiled.

We usually have talkative evenings, but tonight just felt different. It was a nice night and it felt like one of those days where you could just walk and enjoy the view without talking.

I felt Oliver's arm slowly unhook with mines, but with his hand moving to hold my hand.

I felt his fingers lightly squeeze it and then drop my hand as we walked up to the front of my house. He stopped at the doorway and I turned to him and smiled.

"Why do you always walk me home?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"I'm just being nice; you should know me by now." He stated, imitating what I said earlier that evening. "And I know you, you like these walks, I can see it in your face." He grinned.

I blushed. "Yeah. You're such an awesome friend." I said and he laughed.

"Yes, because I'm the best." He told me.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I pressed my face hard against his chest and took in his scent. He lightly kissed my forehead and I finally let him go.

"Good night." I turned from him and went to the doorknob.

"I love you." He said.

My chest dropped and I sighed while I slowly shook my head.

"I love you too." I softly said and finally went inside of the house.

I slowly closed the door and leaned against it, hitting my head against the wood.

It was always like this, when he would take me home, he would tell me he loves me, but he only loved me as a friend. When I say I love him back, I say it like I mean it, but to him it means I love him as a brother.

Things just get complicated between us where at times I just want to scream my head off and confess my true feelings for him, which will never happen because I'm too afraid.

I just hate it when he says he loves me because I'm a sister figure to him and I wish he would say it to me with much more meaning to it. Each time he says those three little words, it makes it harder for me to forget him and it sucks.

Why does love have to be so complicated?

**A/N **Okay, so I was looking through my music lists and then I found this old song called Don't by Kelly Clarkson. It gave me this idea and it's not a released song, but she sang it at her concerts. It's one of my favorite songs and yeah.

Anyway, should I continue?


End file.
